A Tale About a Ring
by Caleniawen
Summary: Just another weird parody of LoTR: FoTR the movie! Starts after the Council of Elrond. When walking... what where they really thinking?


Title: A Tale About a Ring  
Rating: PG13  
Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Owning goes to Tolkien Enterprises and New Line Cinema?  
Summary: Just another weird parody of LoTR: FoTR the movie!   
Author's Note: Ok. About the rating. I took this one to be safe. No offense, but the American rating-system is weird according to me. Anyways. This contains some slash, and, that I guess would be the only warning. And, if not bad languange, a very bad languange! And. Probably cause I'm lazy: This starts after the Council Of Elrond, and right now "The Ring Goes South" I guess. If I got time/want to I'll probably make a pre-quel (sp?)!  
  
Also, this first chapter doesn't really have a storyline. It's basically some sort of introduction of "my versions" of the character. Oh. Sorry for screwing them up like this! But that's just because I love them (aware of that didn't make sense).  
And. Another warning could be that I'm not really a Gimli-fan.  
  
Sorry for typing/spelling mistakes and incorrect grammar.   
  
  
  
*********** Chapt 1: The Start *************  
  
  
So. The Fellowship was off. Adventures. Probably a lot of death. All that saving-the-world stuff you hear of daily.   
  
They were walking. Kept on walking. Heck, 3 hours later they were still walking. Yes. Walking. Left foot. Right foot. Left. Put it infront of your right foot. Eh. You get the point.  
  
Pippin was hungry. He kept telling Merry that. Merry was listening to Pippin. He kept trying not to strangle his very attractive cousin.  
  
Wait, he though. Did *I* just think attractive? No. He told himself. No, you didn't.   
  
  
Then there was Frodo. He had agreed on taking a golden ring to Mordor. He was just wondering if he could run back to Rivendell and tell everyone (and, the fellowship.. they would probably follow if he turned around? He was, after all the Ringbearer) that he had just been kidding.   
Ofcourse he knew where Mordor was. Who didn't? But. That didn't mean that he wanted to go there at this time a year. Bad weather.  
  
  
Behind him was Sam. Samwise even. He desperately tried to keep Bill the pony not to trample Frodo to death. He bet his master wouldn't like that. But... if he was hurt, who else than Sam would be able (have to) take care of his master with those pretty blue eyes? Heh. Maybe he should release the pony after all?  
  
  
Then there was Gandalf the Gray an old, and very clever wizard. Atleast he was old. And, he claimed to be clever. Everybody agreedt. Probably because it was easier that way. Gandalf seemed to love old gray cloaks. And, ofcourse his magical staff. Lets not forget the big pointy wizard hat either.   
  
  
Boromir was a human. And, the only sane one according to himself. Why did he ever agree to come on this stupid quest? Stupid heir of the throne of Gondor! He had always wanted to rule a country...his country! Over his people! but noooo. That Aragorn.. Strider guy would take over and. Well. He didn't dare to think further. But. He would think of something. Maybe if I use that One Ring? the thought crossed his mind.   
  
  
Damn. I think I'm really proving that humans really are weak, he thought, pushed those dark thoughts away, and started to think of one of his few hobbies, butterflies.   
  
  
The other human on this quest was the one Boromir kept glaring at. Aragorn son of Arathorn. Strider. Estel. Thorongil. Wingfoot. Heir of Isildur. Elfstone. Telecontar. Dunedan. Elessar. Longshanks even. You name it. He was lost in his thoughts. This, was a very important mission-quest-thing. Oh, he feared that being around hobbits for so long had slowed his mind. Right. And then. He had to take back his kingdom. Not that he really wanted to. He enjoyed being a ranger. Scaring the hell out of that Butterbur guy, hunting with his foster-brothers and all the other unimportant people who always hunted with him. Dunedain something? Yeah. Dunedain.  
  
  
  
Legolas was feeling very neutral. Sure, he was on a quest, to save the world, very heroic, he thought. One of the reasons he had come on this mission was because of Estie... Ofcourse, Estie was something Legolas just called Aragorn in his own mind. Anyway, it had been too long since he had seen him the last time, and yes, Aragorn was still looking very attractive. But, alas. He was engaged to Arwen.  
'Stupid... stunning beautiful half-elf,' Legolas thought! 'I hope she will break a nail or two!'  
Wow. He had even stopped cursing the ugly dwarf.  
  
  
About the dwarf. He was short. Not as short as hobbits, and at the same time uglier. Maybe it was the beard. His eyes. His whole appearence. And, his temper. He hadn't really bothered to talk to anyone. Maybe because they were avoiding him. Thinking of it, they didn't. But, he was sure they all were on that prissy elf's side, so he just knew that they were all against him.   
  
But, he had made up his mind. He would get them to take the way through the Mines of Moria. He hadn't seen his cousin Balin for years! Decades. Something like that! Now he had something to keep him from going insane for a while. The dwarf smiled, glared at the elf, and just continued walking.  
  
  
  
  
  
*************** End of Chapt 1 ************  
  
A/N: Aware of very short chapter with a very non-existent end. Sorry for that. Hope you enjoyed it anyways! Please R&R! 


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